Dear You-

It hasn't been too long since we've last met. How are you? I can never tell because one day it'll seem like your world is tumbling down but then you'd be on top of it the next. You're a real mystery, you know? I like that. I've written you down on the 6th page of my notebook but on the next it says, "what happened here". And what did? I don't know, you. It's like you suddenly (and still are becoming) became (even) more apparent in my life, without even being present, and not by choice. It frustrates me sometimes as that makes me wonder how you're doing over there. Not that I don't want to care, I do and in fact, a lot. A lot and having more added, might just slowly stir my mind insane. It's funny, though. Because I don't even know (think) if the thought of me runs through yours even once in awhile (if not ever). I hope it does.
Since our last meet, I must say I have been happier and yes, I think it's because of you. Well, despite the few days of over-thinking, reminiscing, questioning and feeling.. lost, I've been happy. Confusion was constant, however, about everything (you). Driving me from wall to wall until that one day I burst. Words wouldn't come out right and everything became 100x more sentimental. At these times I resort to writing as salvation, but there was nothing to write about. Sentences just couldn't be formed and nothing made sense.. but it didn't have to. I found peace, somehow. Never mind the (many) days I spent staring at my phone, wondering if (hoping) your name would pop up on screen. Relentlessly, I wait and wait.. And waited. Why? I wish I knew. It never did, of course, besides times when I tried to start a conversation which never could last for more than 5 minutes since we have nothing to say.. but it was worth it. I don't know why it how it or what made you some part of me I wish I didn't need.
Not really sure what to feel about that but I want that to stay. I'm scared you'd forget about me. The thought of you being astray and/or me rendered unknown by you, terrifies me that it makes me unable to even spell words right (I misspelled terrifies probably 6 times; and misspelled too). I can't say I'm in love with you, because I'm not.. Not yet, at least.
If I ever see you again, I just might. I just might tell you that if you dared, to come a little closer because one way or another, I want you to stay. Somewhere in the middle of the same notebook where your name is inked on the 6th page, I've written you a letter that you may (or may not) read one day.. if we ever meet again. I'd like you to know, I hope that we do.

PS: It makes me smile foolish, every time you call me silly.

X